Conversations with Empathy
So, what is empathy? Well, empathy is when you can understand how someone else is thinking and feeling in a situation, looking at things from their perspective, not just your own. It's not the same as sympathy, where you're affected by someone else's thoughts and feelings, but you keep your emotions separate. Empathy is an important quality that allows us to understand and share the feelings of others. It's an essential aspect of building strong relationships and connecting with people on a deeper level. Empathy involves putting yourself in someone else's shoes and trying to see the world from their perspective. In conversations, empathy can make all the difference between a successful exchange and a failed one. Here are some tips for having empathetic conversations.
Tips on How to Develop Empathy
Listen actively
Active listening is an essential part of empathetic conversations. When someone is speaking to you, give them your full attention - multitasking never works! Make eye contact, nod your head, and use body language to show that you're engaged in the conversation. Put your phone down, and be free from distractions. Try not to interrupt or finish the other person's sentences, and avoid thinking about what you’re going to say next or relating it back to you. Instead, let them speak their mind and express their emotions fully.
2. Validate their feelings
Validation is the act of acknowledging someone's feelings and letting them know that their emotions are valid, even if you disagree. Validation is a powerful empathetic rapport-building tool. When someone shares their feelings with you, it's important to validate them. You can say things like, "I can understand why you feel that way," or "It sounds like that was really hard for you." Validation helps the other person feel heard and understood, which also links to tip number one, listening.
3. Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions are those that require more than a yes or no answer, it allows for exploration in a curious non-judgemental way. They encourage the other person to share more about their thoughts and feelings. Instead of asking, "Are you feeling sad?" you can ask, "How are you feeling today?" This type of question allows the other person to express themselves in their own works and makes space for sharing.
4. Reflect on what you've heard
Reflection is the process of summarising what the other person has said to you. It shows that you've been actively listening and that you understand what they're trying to convey. You can say things like, "So what I'm hearing is..." or "It sounds like you're saying..." Reflection helps to clarify any misunderstandings and ensures that both parties are on the same page.
5. Avoid judgment
It's important to avoid judgment in empathetic conversations, setting your pre-conceived ideas and views aside during a conversation is imperative to leading with empathy. Everyone has their own unique experiences and perspectives, and it's not our place to judge them. When someone shares something with you, try to understand it from their perspective, even if it doesn't align with your own beliefs or values. Being non-judgemental is about not making the person feel judged and this can come back to your choice of words, body language, and facial expressions - all the verbal and non-verbal skills.
6. Share your own experiences
Sharing your own experiences can help the other person feel less alone. It shows that you understand what they're going through and that you've been there too. However, it's important to do this in a way that doesn't detract from the other person's experience. Instead of saying, "I know exactly how you feel," you can say, "I've been in a similar situation before, and this is what helped me." But use this tip mindfully, we want to inject our lived experience where it is appropriate and helpful, as opposed to trying to take over the conversation with your experience and making it about you.
7. Offer support
Empathetic conversations often involve providing support to the other person, this could be emotional, psychological or practical support. This can be done in a variety of ways, depending on the situation. It might involve offering practical help, such as running errands or cooking a meal. Alternatively, it might involve emotional support, such as listening to the other person vent or offering words of encouragement. Whatever form it takes, support can be incredibly valuable to someone who is struggling.
8. Recognise your own limitations
Empathy is a powerful tool, but it's not a cure-all. There may be times when you simply can't understand what someone else is going through, and maybe you’re not the right person to have a conversation with the individual - that’s okay too. This might be because you haven't experienced it yourself, or because the situation is too complex. In these situations, it's essential to recognise your own limitations and to be honest with the other person. You can say things like, "I'm not sure what to say," or "I can't imagine how that must feel."
9. Practice self-care
Self-care is an essential aspect of maintaining physical, emotional, and wellbeing. It involves taking deliberate and conscious actions to care for oneself, which can help to reduce stress, improve mood, boost self-esteem, and enhance overall health. Self-care can take various forms, including exercise, healthy eating, meditation, quality sleep, socialising, pursuing hobbies, and seeking professional help when necessary. By prioritising self-care, individuals can build resilience, prevent burnout, and lead happier and more fulfilling lives. Moreover, self-care benefits the individual and those around them, as it can improve relationships, increase productivity, and foster a positive environment. Therefore, making self-care a regular practice is crucial for one's physical, emotional, and mental health, and it should be considered a priority in one's daily routine.
If you’re interested in learning more about Mindful Leadership - Leading with Empathy or attending one of Wellbeing Campus’ Self-Care workshops, contact us today.